I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
