sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
