just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
