Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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