I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
