my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
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My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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