We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
