Swine flu. Run for my life!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize