I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
