i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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