Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
