turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
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