I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
