i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
