Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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