Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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