Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
