I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
