Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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