Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
