Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize