i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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