Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
