I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
