She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
