As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
