If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
