Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
