I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize