what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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