Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
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My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
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That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
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