I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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