I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Blow job season was short but glorious.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
