Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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