yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I will pee on everything he values.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
