so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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