You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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