I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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