You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sorry about my life...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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