My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
