sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
