I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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