Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
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TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.