I wanna bring you to show and tell
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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