The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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