there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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