i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
