i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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