I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
