yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
