Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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