Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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