we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
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I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
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And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again