Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
