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• (512): View more from Texas

  we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us

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• (737): View more from Texas

  and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.

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• (916): View more from California

  I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (760): View more from California

  And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me

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• (512): View more from Texas

  i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again

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