Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.

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(512): View more from Texas

I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants

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(269): View more from Michigan

So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.

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(407): View more from Florida

My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.

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(478): View more from Georgia

We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.

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