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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.

  (260): View more from Indiana

  At least you didn't call me Brittany this time

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• (281): View more from Texas

  the condom got lost in my hair

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u sound so gay right now

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.

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