You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that