Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hsj3
  Replies (14) Good night (872) Bad night (1817)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion. http://tfl.nu/57n6
  Replies (31) Good night (697) Bad night (4644)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times http://tfl.nu/hu9z
  Replies (30) Good night (637) Bad night (3034)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea http://tfl.nu/o6ch
  Replies (28) Good night (1352) Bad night (3930)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes? http://tfl.nu/05g8
  Replies (5) Good night (4014) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary. http://tfl.nu/11rw
  Replies (15) Good night (3764) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation. http://tfl.nu/fqo6
  Replies (11) Good night (3659) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech http://tfl.nu/b8ee
  Replies (18) Good night (3938) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE http://tfl.nu/3jc2
  Replies (4) Good night (1923) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets http://tfl.nu/m4mv
  Replies (7) Good night (2240) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night http://tfl.nu/5uhb
  Replies (4) Good night (2184) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car? http://tfl.nu/qi3u
  Replies (13) Good night (1353) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips http://tfl.nu/8ne3
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs. (860): My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/2uqc
  Replies (4) Good night (449) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth http://tfl.nu/jmpm
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (205)

Randomize