i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
