Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
