He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
