woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
