I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
